01 - Extra Cheese
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Instrumental
02 - I Don’t Wanna Die
Music: Composed by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
I don`t wanna die
Please don`t let me die
`Cause it`s been like two hours since I last saved…
I`m so deep in thought, playing this game
That I haven`t even realized how far I`ve came
I`ve found so many items, and gained so much wealth
But now I`ve come down to 10% health
I`ve got no cure potions, I`m out of MP
And there`s no way out of this that I can see
There`s monsters everywhere, their numbers are growing
And it`s looking more and more like I`m going (to die)
I don`t wanna die
I don`t wanna die
I don`t wanna die
I don`t wanna die
I don`t wanna die
Help meee
I don`t wanna die
I should`ve bought more potions when I was in town
But I had no idea this cave would go so far down
I`m trying to be careful not to get hit
But if there was ever a time to panic, this is it
I`m shaking and shivering and starting to sweat
But I gotta get a grip, `cause I`m not dead yet
I don`t want all this time to go to waste
But it`s looking a lot like I`m gonna learn the taste (of death)
I don`t wanna die
I don`t wanna die
I think I`m gonna die
I can`t die now
I should`ve played Tetris instead
I don`t wanna die
This song is stupid
I don`t wanna die
Ehhh nooo
Do you know any button codes?
Maybe the Konami code will do something
Nope
Ehhhh
All this time I`ve put in
I want my mommy
My health meter is flashing red
If I take one more hit and I`m gonna be dead
But then suddenly I see some light
The end of the cave is in my sight
So all the effort paid back a bunch
`Cause now I can save and eat some lunch
I`m 10 feet away, I see no threat
When my cat comes in and steps on the reset (button…)
03 - Ode to a Symbol
Music: Just a cymbal
Lyrics: Alchav
Question mark!
04 - I’m Not a Robot
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I wasn’t manufactured for your enjoyment
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not gonna take over the world for its destroyment
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I don’t run on programming code
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
In my childhood I growed and growed
‘Cause I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
Why does everyone think I’m machine?
Could it be all these buttons and switches and screens?
Everybody points and says “look at that android
If you make him mad we’ll all be destroyed!”
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, can’t you see?
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, you don’t have to flee
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not made of tin or silver
I’m not a robot, I’m not a robot
I’m not a robot, this line doesn’t rhyme
05 - The Last Cup of Coffee
Music: Composed by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
The last cup of coffee is the worst cup of coffee
(’Cause) it’s bitter and nasty and it tastes like mud!
(You know) The last cup of coffee is the worst cup of coffee
(’Cause) the bottom of the coffee pot has all those grounds and crud
But I wanted it anyway!!!
You drank the last cup of coffee!
You drank the last cup of coffee!
You drank the last cup of coffee!
You drank the last cup of coffee!
I didn’t even GET ANY!!!
06 - you are so good to me eggplant mike
Music: Composed by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
You are so good to me, Eggplant Mike…
I don’t know what I could ever do
If I didn’t have a friend like you
You are so good to me, Eggplant Mike
You know I’d never cheat you
I could never expect a better friend
You’re always with me to the end
You are so good to me, Eggplant Mike
And I can’t wait to eat you
You are so good to me Eggplant Mike,
With parmesan cheese
I love you Eggplant Mike…
So delicious…
07 - Off The Wall
Music: Loop arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
That’s off the wall!
08 - The Other Side of the Pillow
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
The other side of the pillow is the
Coolest side of the pillow
I like using the other side of the
Pillow because of how cool it is
I think the other side of the pillow
Is a pretty cool guy
Eh is nice and cool and doesn’t
Afraid of anything
Those who make too many short songs
That lack any rhyming
Will never be nearly as cool
As the other side of the pillow
09 - Back
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Song title accidentally by Voice of Kiki
Back!
Front!
Back!
Front!
Back!
Front!
Back!
Front!
Back/Front!
10 - Yogurt
Music: Composed and loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav. And it’s a true story.
Once upon a time in the mid-to-late 90’s
I looked into the fridge, there was one yogurt left
I asked my mom, “Can I have the last yogurt?”
She said “No you can’t that wouldn’t be fair”
A couple hours later I went into my mom’s room
I saw my brother in the dark he said “Go away”
I said I don’t have to and I turned on the light
And I saw my brother on the bed eating the last yogurt
I said “hey you’re not supposed to eat the last yogurt
I was really hungry but mom didn’t let me have it”
I ran out to tell my mom, “he ate the last yogurt”
He followed me out and my mom looked nervous
It wasn’t long at all before my brother confessed
My mom told him that he could have the last yogurt
She told him to hide so that I wouldn’t see
That she told my brother that he could have the last yogurt
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing
My heart just melted down into my feet
How could she let him have the last yogurt
It’s been a decade and I still hold a grudge
I wanted some delicious yogurt so badly
Why couldn’t she let me have the last yogurt
Every time I see a yogurt, the nightmares come back
Of my mom giving my brother the very last yogurt
11 - Things Other People Should Do
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
Recycle
Pay for music
Laundry
Donate to charity
Protest
Pay for software
Dishes
Volunteer
Carpool
Conserve
Unclog the toilet
Vote
12 - Quizzes
Music: Just distortion
Lyrics: Alchav. Song title sorta suggested by WildCard9
Quizzes!
I hate quizzes!
13 - Everything You Like Sucks
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav.
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Your favorite bands suck
Your favorite bike sucks
Your favorite food sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Your favorite TV shows suck
Your friend named Mike sucks
Your favorite games suck
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Your favorite movies suck
Your pet named Spike sucks
Your favorite shirt sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
Everything you like sucks
14 - This One Sucks Too (Featuring Blasted Bill Putt)
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Contains samples of people hating on me.
15 - lol wut
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
lol wut
(repeat)
16 - Internet Hate Machine
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Contains samples of faux news reporting on the internet hate machine
17 - I’m Not a Robot (Need a New Voice Chip Mix)
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Same as track 4
18 - Let’s Make Fun of the Amish
Music: Original composition by ShoEboX with Coffee, Inc. performing; sampled, processed, and loops added by Alchav
Lyrics: ShoEboX (Made more family-friendly by Alchav)
Let’s make fun of the amish!
Those stupid ignorant crocks!
Let’s make fun of the amish!
Like the guy on the oatmeal box!
They don’t believe in electricity
Like we’re supposed to care
I’ll give ‘em a taste of electricity
Put ‘em in the fricken’ chair!
Get ‘em out of this fricken’ country
Put ‘em all on boats
All they do is make cheese
And milk their fricken’ goats!
Kill the amish; it’s the right thing to do.
19 - Alchav (2008 Remix)
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Update from the song on In Stereo
20 - Office Life (Cubicle Comfort Remix)
Music: Loops arranged by Alchav
Lyrics: Alchav
Paperclip!
21 - Morning Angst (Lethal Odor Remix)
Music: Composed and loops arranged by Alchav
Extended remix of the song on In Stereo
22 - Headache (2008 Remix)
Music: Just distortion
Re-imagined version of the song on In Stereo
23 - The Pirate Guy, part 1 (A Positive Attitude song featuring Soggy Potato Chips)
Music: Positive Attitude
Lyrics: Positive Attitude; Alchav
(I can’t find ‘em.)